Loving Gomer

Someone I know (family member) and have loved for my whole life recently told me that they had become burned out on loving. They had reached the point where:

• their giving and loving so far outweighed what they received back
• their heart had been trodden on so many times
• their affections had been repeatedly spurned
• they had been used in so many ways (physical,emotional,financial)

They decided to only display their love/kindness/generosity/compassion/etc. on those around them and close to them whom they decided to bestow it on. This has left me and my family out in the cold darkness...it is not a fun place to be. (Jesus often refers to places of "outer darkness" [Matthew 8:12, 22:13, 25:30]...not the place you want to go.) They, of course, have much logic, heartache, and worldly wisdom to support their rationale. Nearly all of their points/complaints are true and seemingly valid. It is just as obvious to me, however, that they have completely rejected nearly everything that (1)Jesus taught us and (2)God has shown us.

My response to their declarations has run a wide course. I started out with cold indifference. I held this view solidly until I realized that I wasn't truly remaining indifferent...I still ruminated deep within. Arrogance then crept in as I haughtily made my own inner declaration: 'When we get to heaven and all is revealed...well, then you'll see!!' Sadness and even a touch of despair filtered through as well. I then turned to Jesus...which I should have done from the git-go! His words (primarily Matthew 5-7) helped me to realize that a certain amount of anger also simmered down below the surface. On the exterior, I was able to perform a fairly decent facade of gentle forgiveness but my Lord knew different.

Currently, my heart has been enduring transformation. I say "enduring" not because of God's inability but my resistance. His peace, though, is soooo much better than anything I came to on my own recognizance. And yet, I have gotten glimpses of how much farther I have to go. There is a difference between passive love and active love. There is a difference between accepting circumstances and seeking restoration. There is a difference in declaring forgiveness and living forgiveness. And as I open myself up to learn of love from God, I see how wrong my views of love have been. (For extra credit, read Hosea...how many of us could love in the manner that God prodded Hosea to love Gomer??)